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a poem about pretending
NOTE: Too often we find ourselves stuck in roles that were thrust upon us: for me, it was the role of the good Catholic girl, or a happily-married person, or a successful professional. This poem is about the decades I spent trying to play a part that wasn’t for me.
— — —
You didn’t realize you’d been keeping yourself safe
by pretending.
Through performance and perfecting,
Through hiding away your flaws and scuff marks,
Your vulnerability could stay hidden, secure,
Locked away in its corner.
Your softness, your raw shame,
Didn’t have to be addressed,
When you pretended.
(When you smiled,
When you laughed at pain.)
You sometimes stopped long enough:
Wondered why your insides hurt,
Why you flinched when you saw others suffering,
Why your anger rose, fists clenched, when you saw injustice.
It wasn’t until you opened the wounds yourself,
That you understood your performance.
